Forbidden Love
by Basmathgirl
Summary: Words like 'denial' and 'forbidden' summed up much of the Doctor and Donna's physical relationship even though they allowed themselves to take a intimate step further on from the luxury of an equal footing friendship.


****Disclaimer:** **I don't own anything here, anything at all.

**A/N:** I heard Alice Krige read a Nadine Gordimer story and thought I'd experiment with this.

* * *

><p><strong>Forbidden Love<strong>

.

No one could have accused them of rushing into things. Certainly not. As it was, they were extremely careful, deliberate and considered with their friendship.

After all, friendship was the only thing allowed, since everyone disapproved of them being more. But on foreign worlds so many misunderstandings about their relationship occurred.

No, they weren't married; never ever. It was unthinkable, and forbidden.

Theirs was a cosy relationship. There had been the rare night when they had held each other after dreams that fought back and demolished their sanity during the quiet hours. At least at first it had been rare. Before it had become a normality, many long evenings were spent curled up together to offer comfort and be comforted. It was all harmless enough.

Most evenings Donna would be the first to go to bed whilst the Doctor continued on, tinkering with various components in order to get them running just so. If he was honest with himself, the tinkering had become a habit borne from the need for distraction. But as their time together marched on, the tinkering became less compulsive and a new yearning took over. One that had him longing to follow her into her bed and take advantage of her unconditional warmth.

He hardly noticed as it became less of a yearning and more of anticipation. As they graduated further into domesticity, the frequency of their shared nights increased. And with it, their denials about coupledom lessened. They hardly noticed it became predominantly so after the tragic events of Messaline. A grief that is shared, that deeply felt, logically had to move things on; and so for them it had. To the point that each and every night saw them sharing a bed, like two happy puppies.

It was then that the Doctor had been forced into a confession; one they both had expected and knew had to be voiced, eventually. It was, however, him that broke their silence first, when denial was no longer practical.

As he nestled into her back, spooning to gain warmth and his usual comfort, he hesitantly whispered, "Donna, I want more than this."

Feigning ignorance, she had asked, "What exactly do you want as part of your 'more', Spaceman?"

"I want…" He steeled himself to speak the unbidden that would no doubt produce the unpleasant response he expected. "I want to make love to you; with you, if you'll permit me."

In the quiet that descended upon them, Donna carefully thought through his words. It had been no surprise that he wanted this from her, because his body had been saying so for quite some time; but still her mind denied her own desires. "I'm not ready yet," she admitted, fearing that any pain she caused him by her rejection would result in their relationship worsening.

Fortunately he understood perfectly, and nodded against her shoulder as he gave her a squeeze of acceptance. "Very well."

"I'm not saying that I'd never…," she hastily reassured him. "It's just; not yet."

"I know," he consoled her in turn, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "There's no hurry. When you are ready, give me a sign. Until then we can carry on as we are."

"Thank you, Spaceman," she murmured. Was it wrong of her that she really was grateful for his patience and understanding? That there was no time limit being placed upon her, unlike every other relationship she had shared with a man; and for that she was indeed very thankful.

Talking things through with Agatha Christie had clarified the opinion within Donna's mind. It hadn't taken her long to make the decision, maybe; but it was the right decision for her and for them. She would have left her announcement until they had got back on board the TARDIS after their adventure, but her hand, as it were, had been forced into revealing her thoughts.

Grabbing hold of the Doctor to offer a big shock to save his life, in a form of a kiss, their first full on the mouth kiss, had conveyed far more than the initial act had seemed to the idle onlookers. His wild eyes as he pulled back from her and wiped his mouth told her he had received the message. Loud and clear. They were going to officially become a form of a couple. Just not that sort. Not the romantic sort. Oh no. Theirs was an arrangement, and they'd deny it to their dying day.

Later on, when they eventually returned to the TARDIS, all alone, he had let her take the lead; heading off to bed in her usual fashion, carrying out her ablutions without harassment. Then he had followed once she was safely in bed, taking his time to primp and preen his body until it could not cause any possible offence. Then entering the bedroom, seeing her curled up in her usual position on her side, he had slid into the warm bed behind her with the intention of sliding into her body when he was allowed to.

As he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, his naked readiness startled her into hesitantly asking, "Do we have anything to use?"

"Sh shh shh," he hushed her with kisses placed along her shoulder and up her throat. "I will give you something afterwards to ward off all ills and possible consequences."

"But…" This subject had to be broached before they went any further. "What if I want the possibility of little consequences?"

She was pleased to feel his smile next to her skin.

"Then, my love, we will aim for any little consequence you want. Just not tonight; not our first time. Please," he begged as he gently turned her within his embrace. "I want to enjoy this with you. For you alone. I don't know how I have waited this long but know this, Donna Noble: you are worth the wait."

Any denial she could have voiced was cut off by him tenderly kissing her mouth, urging her desire on with small incremental touches of pressure. Soon their gentle undulations became open-mouthed, hungry kisses as they moved together.

"But what if we're still not supposed to do this?" she questioned as her doubts that this was allowed between them began to reappear and set in.

"It's just us. You and me. Nobody else cares that we are doing this, loving each other," he continued to console her.

"Just us," she repeated, pleased with the calming effect the words had upon her spirits. "You and me."

Then she pulled him ever closer, and opened to him like a precious flower. A singing flower that cried out a duet with him, that died within the ether.

.  
>Their denials to other beings continued during the days of adventure, as they feigned nothing more than friendship between them. But the nights became hot and passionate, ideal for love and experimentation.<p>

The Doctor could not have been happier. This was an ideal arrangement for them and he wanted to show Donna his gratitude after the way the Library had stomped all over her personal dreams. For him the unsettling presence of an interloper and the temporary loss of his lover meant that he was determined to slowly make love to her all night long; to extract every single sensual joy he could for her as she writhed in ecstasy beneath him.

How could he ever reward her for their fantastic night of making love? Oooh! He knew the instant the thought crossed his brain. Pampering; that's what she deserved. He hoped for a happy experience as he let her wallow whilst he set off to explore on his own.

But things had gone wrong for him until he could return to her warm embrace. She was his anchor in the storm; his balm, his sanity. Lord only knew how he would have coped if she had not been there to catch him as he fell. But never from her grace. She alone could save him and offer redemption as she offered him her love.

Although broken, that evening he happily worshipped at her altar, filling a deeply essential need as he moved within her body.

"It's just us," she whispered into his ear, giving comfort. "You and me."

"It's just us," he repeated in prayer. "You and me."

They were the words that bound them.

In the cold light of day, he acknowledged that pampering hadn't worked in the way he'd wanted, so perhaps some retail therapy would do them both some good. With that in mind, he aimed the TARDIS towards the planet location of Shan Shen, and a new experience. One that would unfortunately shatter them forever.

.

Donna knew it was over as soon as that flash of blue light had appeared down the road from them. The look of triumph on the blonde woman's face had said it all. She wasn't just back, walking on this Earth; she was repossessing the TARDIS and reclaiming the Doctor.

Trying to be brave, Donna had done her best to smile through it all, holding back the tears she had wanted to cry. But nobody was paying any attention. Nobody cared that she was facing her punishment for stealing this alien man. She felt so lost, utterly abandoned, and so alone as she tried to make light of the situation. A hug, how hard can it be to con a hug out of someone? Apparently quite a lot when Rose was around.

'Be quiet,' she told herself, as the torture played on, and the words of the servant of the Shadow Proclamation played in her mind. Her loss was beginning to be all too apparent, and her aching heart would have to wait to deal with that.

Then the TARDIS shut her in, forcing her to leave the Doctor's side, and panic set in. What now? What new hell was being unleashed upon her? She heard the steady beat of a silent cry, and she reached out to comfort it as best she could.

It would be her last act as a human. Soon Donna Noble would cease to be, punished for eternity, and returned home to her disapproving mother.


End file.
